Down with mayo!

Wouldn’t you know it? Two weeks ago, Chef Adam announced we would have a pass/fail midterm practical exam on Feb. 8 in my Fundamentals of Classical Techniques class and we would make mayonnaise.

Yes, the one thing I despise making. I guess the word “making” is an overstatement since I had never made it successfully. My prior attempts resulted in something runny and white that didn’t resemble mayonnaise.

The midterm also required making hollandaise and a chicken consommé and knife cutting skills.

Mayonnaise-making obsession
I admit I became obsessed about my mayonnaise-making failure.

If a stranger asked me how I was doing, I would likely respond with a diatribe about the difficulty level in making mayonnaise. I fretted about making mayonnaise and dreamed of failing the midterm practical and becoming a culinary school dropout!

Julia for inspiration
In my angst, I turned to Julia for inspiration and read her mayonnaise-making recommendation in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. In her distinct accent, I could hear Julia telling me to warm the bowl before whisking the egg yolk and to add the oil slowly. In fact, she suggested adding the first half of the oil drop-by-drop. She also cautioned that you needed at least two whisks per second and once you started you couldn’t stop whisking until you had about half the oil in the emulsion. She warned it’s not an easy task at hand; but Julia Child gave me hope.

The Friday night before my midterm, I stopped by the grocery store on the way home from work and stocked up on ingredients to practice the midterm practical. I unloaded the MKX and went straight for the kitchen with a great determination to conquer the mayo. I thought if I started early, that by the end of the weekend I would have developed a way to make mayonnaise.

I warmed up my bowl, measured my oil, prepared my lemon juice and cracked the egg and separated the yolk. I whisked the egg to look frothy and figured out a way to add oil drop-by-drop by using a spoon in one hand and continuously whisking with the other.

I started adding the oil while whisking. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Drop. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. Oil. Whisk. Whisk. Whisk. 


My arm is going to fall off!
This process went on forever. After ten minutes it appeared all I had was a runny mess and an aching arm. I swear my arm would fall off before I had mayonnasie in the bowl.

Would I have the strength to see mayonnaise-making success? What would I do if I couldn’t figure out a way to make it before the exam? The panic started to overcome me.

But then I remembered Julia's words to keep on going. So, I did.

Whisking like a mad man I didn’t stop —adding oil drop by drop. After what seemed like an eternity of whisking, which was only about  20 minutes, I noticed the liquid was thickening. I started to believe it was going to happen. I had an emulssion and I was going to make mayonnaise.

Thirty minutes into it and with one exhausted hand and arm, I made mayonnaise. Finally! I had defeated the mayonnaise.

Still, the mayonnaise tasted as terrible as any mayonnaise I had ever tasted. How could something that takes so much work taste so bad? No matter if I like the taste or not, at least I knew I could pass my midterm exam.

Although I still don’t have the official results, Chef Adam indicated I successfully made every item for the midterm, including the mayonnaise. What a relief.

Down with the mayo!